Seattle’s Crime, Homelessness and Drugs! Not the City of Jason, Joshua and Jeremy any More! Lyrics Updated!
Waz Happenin’
The city of Seattle is a mess. It is rife with crime, homelessness, and drugs. Where could Seattle’s Crime, Homelessness, and drugs come from? After all, they are the smartest liberal city in the world. It’s not their fault. After all, how could they have known that when you defund the police you get more crime? How could they have known that when you stop arresting or hospitalizing the homeless you get more of them? How could they have known that when you stop arresting illegal drug users you get more illegal drug use? Who would have thunk it?
Stories of Seattle’s failure in every aspect of civic responsibility is all over the place. Two great articles are at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ-PUJGrYr0 and https://www.foxnews.com/us/seattle-businesses-take-law-hands-combat-homelessness-angering-activists.
Coping With Seattle’s Crime, Homelessness, and Drugs
The citizens of Seattle are deeply bummed that their feet are pierced with needles whenever they walk on their lawn. They are affronted when the homeless defecate on the front seat of their Prius. But most of all, they become choleric when a homeless city sets up camp on their property and asks them to run a water and electric line (but, strangely not a sewage line) to their campsite! We at MOL feel awful at Seattle’s predicament. And, we want to help!
To help the citizens of Seattle cope with all the negative vibes around them, we are reissuing our Seattle (Updated) song to cheer them up. Seattle (Updated) will bring a smile to the face of all Seattleites, except when they sit in the front seat of their Prius!
SEATTLE (Updated)
The blackest skies you’ll ever see in Seattle
The pukes as green as green, in Seattle.
Like a stoned and zonked child, throwing up drunk and wild.
Full of coke and full of beers, full of oxy, full of blears,
Enough meth to last the years, in Seattle.
When you stumble to your tent you will know it.
By the smoke putting tears in your eyes.
Smell of vomit in the air,
homeless stand around and glare.
Look out everyone, more homicides!!
In case you forgot the original, click below and sing along!
Apologies to Hugo Montenegro, Jack Keller, and most of all to Jason, Joshua and Jeremy.
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Niles Fettucine
Niles was born in Naples, Italy and is the eighty-third to bear his name. The original Niles Fettucine was born in Athens in 356 BCE. He joined the army of Alexander in 335 BCE. He participated in the Balkans campaign and became good friends with both Alexander and Aristotle, with whom he often pillaged, drank, and caroused. The current Niles was formerly a lawyer in the Naples, Italy suburb of Salerno. When he retired, he moved to Naples Florida, where he currently contributes to meaningoflifesatire.com, plays tennis, bocce, and, in keeping with the Fettucine family tradition, pillages, drinks, and carouses.
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