Others’ Views On The Meaning Of Life

Throughout history, many others have weighed in on The Meaning Of Life. Here are some of their views. In no particular order, most of the time.

The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is. ~Mary Pettibone Poole

When you are frightened enough, you will listen to any voice that promises change. ~ Hugh, Star Trek-The Next Generation, performed by Jonathan DelArco

Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the stars! (and your mind in the gutter) ~ Niles Fettucine

Mary Ann: “I used to be a Girl Scout, and they teach you a lot.” Ginger: “I used to go with a Boy Scout, and they teach you a lot, too.” ~Gilligan’s Island, performed by Dawn Wells and Tina Louise

Occasionally, A Caucasian-American is more worthy than an African-American. That is not racism, it is life! ~ Niles Fettuccine

Sex is the icing on the cake! IT IS NOT THE CAKE!! ~ Susan E. Jahnsen

But after all it’s what we’ve done that makes us what we are. ~Jim Croce, One Less Set Of Footsteps, performed by Jim Croce

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. ~Mark Twain

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana! ~ Anthony G. Oettinger

It takes a lot of money to look cheap! ~Dolly Parton

You have not convinced a man merely because you have silenced him. ~ John, Viscount Morley, On Compromise

There are three ways to gain wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. ~Confucius

Heaven In Europe Is A House Where: The French are in charge of the Kitchen, the Italians are in charge of the Bedroom, the British are in charge of the Drawing Room, the Germans are in charge of the Garage and the Swiss make sure everything runs on time. Hell in Europe is a House Where: The British are in charge of the Kitchen, the Germans are in charge of the Bedroom, the Swiss are in charge of the Drawing room, the French are in charge of the Garage and the Italians make sure everything run on time ~ Niles Fettucine

I came. I saw. I conquered. ~Julius Caesar

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. ~Henry Thomas Buckle

If you turn the other cheek, you’ll just get hit with the other fist. ~Janet A. Bianco

Cocaine isn’t habit forming; I should know, I’ve been taking it for years. ~Tellulah Bankhead

Things are only impossible until they’re not! ~Captain Jean-Luc Picard, When the Bough Breaks, performed by Patrick Stewart

If you shovel enough shit into the fan, some of it will stick! ~ A triply mixed metaphor by Niles Fettucine

When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true! ~ J. Cricket

The harder I work, the more luck I have. ~Thomas Jefferson

All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time. ~Mitch Albom

Don’t change Dicks in the middle of a screw, vote for Nixon in ’72. ~Graffito on the wall of the men’s room at Smalley Inn in Pawling, NY, summer 1972

Aim towards enemy. ~U.S. rocket launcher instruction manual

Tora, Tora, Tora! ~Success signal transmitted by Mitsuo Fuchida, Captain, Imperial Japanese Navy Air Service, to the Japanese fleet at the beginning of the attack on Pearl Harbor. Fuchida had a front row seat in World War II. He led the air attack on Pearl Harbor, was seriously injured during the Battle of Midway, and left the City of Hiroshima a day before the big one hit. After the war, Fuchida became a Christian Minister – he preached with Billy Graham – and, strangely (well, maybe not so strangely), an American because he felt God was on our side. Author’s Note – He was!

I don’t see how India could possibly feed two hundred million more (in addition to India’s then current population of 482,706,000) people by 1980. ~ Paul R. Ehrlich 1968. Author’s Note – The population of India in 1980 was 688,956,000. By 2016 the population was 1,273,986,000, all of whom were and are eating daily. Second Author’s Note – In the 1960’s, 50 out of every 100,000 people on Earth died annually from famine; from 2010 to 2016, that number was 0.5, a 99% reduction.

No famine has ever taken place in the history of the world in a functioning democracy ~ Harvard economist Amartya Sen

Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang; ooh eeh ooh ah aah ting tang walla walla bing bang ~ Ross Bagdasarian, Sr. a/k/a David Seville, Witch Doctor

It’s been a long night, trying to find my way; been through the darkness, now I finally have my day. ~Diane Eve Warren, Enterprise

You can smoke corned beef and you can smoke hash, but you can’t smoke corned beef hash. ~The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

If you make yourself a sheep, the wolves will eat you. ~Benjamin Franklin

Try to remember the kind of September, when you were a young and callow fellow. ~Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones (no, not that Tom Jones), Try to Remember , from The Fantasticks, performed by many, including Jerry Orbach (a/k/a Lenny Brisco)

I wish I was a spaceman, the fastest guy alive. I’d fly you ’round the universe, in Fireball XL5. Way out in space together, conquerors of the sky. My heart would be a fireball, a fireball. Every time I gazed into your starry eyes. ~Barry Grey/Charles Blackwell, Fireball XL5 Theme, performed by Don Spencer

Smokin’ dope, snorting coke, trying to write a song . . . ~Peter Rowan, Lonesome L.A. Cowboy

Oh, yesterday’s over my shoulder; so I can’t look back for too long. There’s just too much to see waiting in front of me and I know that I just can’t go wrong. ~Jimmy Buffett, Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

Sometimes, you have to pick up the gun to put the gun down. ~Malcolm the 10^th

Listen – there is no war that will end all wars. ~Haruki Murakami

Loyalty to country, ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when they deserve it. ~Mark Twain

A true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. ~ G. K. Chesterton

Sometimes, I wake up grumpy. Sometimes, I let her sleep. ~ Niles Fettucine

You can have peace, or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at the same time. ~Robert A. Heinlein

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons. ~Douglas McArthur

Today, the phrase “Working Families” means non-working, non-families. ~ Ann Coulter

Lead, follow, or get the hell out of my way. ~George S. Patton, Jr.

I offer neither pay, nor quarters, nor food; I offer only hunger, thirst, forced marches, battle and death. Follow me. ~Giuseppe Garibaldi, Italian nationalist and Staten Island candle maker

It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness; it’s life. ~ Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Peak Performance, performed by Patrick Stewart

Always remember that you’re unique, just like everyone else. ~ Pun Me

Optimism is a force multiplier. ~Colin Powell

The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. ~Norman Schwarzkopf

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected? ~ Pun Me

I don’t know what effect my men will have on the enemy, but, by God, they terrify me. ~Arthur Wellesley, a/k/a The Duke of Wellington

Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive. ~William F. Buckley, Jr.

Retreat? Hell, we just got here. ~Captain Lloyd W. Williams, USMC, when told to fall back.

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty. ~Winston Churchill

Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today. ~Will Rogers

People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who usually do. ~Rob Siltanen

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. ~Henry Ford

Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m possible! ~Audrey Hepburn

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. ~John Barrymore

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot. ~ Michael Altshuler

Don’t wait. The time will never be right.. ~Napoleon Hill

There are many differing opinions on how our President should be chosen. Personally, I prefer jump shots from the top of the key. ~Former N.J. Senator (and N.Y. Knick) Bill Bradley

Failure is success in progress. ~Albert Einstein

Keep your eyes ahead and don’t look down. ~Niles Fettucine

“Love is many things, none of them logical. ~William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Mazie, Mazie, give me your answer true. Why are you so f’ing crazy in everything you say and do? ~Niles Fettucine, Ode to a Senator

Maybe the intelligentsia is not so intelligent after all. ~Liz Peek

All civil rights are government handouts that a society, because of the hard work of its citizens, can now afford. ~Niles Fettucine

You can’t let life get your down. You have to stand up to her on your own hind legs. ~Mordecai Jones, The Flim Flam Man, performed by George C. Scott

An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. ~Mahatma Ghandi

We make war that we may live in peace. ~ Aristotle

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. ~Katherine Hepburn

Wash your hands and say your prayers, cause Jesus and germs are everywhere. ~Anonymous

If you are depressed, you are living I the past. If you are anxious, you are living if the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. ~Lao Tzu

It is terrible to contemplate how few politicians are hanged. ~G .K. Chesterton

If there were no God, there would be no atheists. ~G .K. Chesterton

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. ~ George Bernard Shaw

A life without cause is a life without effect. ~Barbarella, Barbarella, performed by Jane Fonda

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. ~Mark Twain

All glory . . . is fleeting. ~General George S. Patton, Jr.

Any idiot can face a crisis – its day to day living that wears you out. ~Anton Chekhov

C’est pire qu’un crime, c’est une faute! (It is worse than a crime, it is a mistake!) ~Attributed to Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord

We have met the enemy and they are ours. ~ Master Commandant, later Commodore Oliver H. Perry, United States Navy

We have met the enemy and he is us. ~Walt Kelly, Pogo

Knowledge is good. ~ Emil Faber b. 1904

Today there is no day or night, today there is no black or white; only shades of gray . . . ~Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil, Shades of Gray, performed by The Monkees

Love conquers all things, except poverty and a toothache. ~Mae West

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. ~George Bernard Shaw, The Doctor’s Dilemma

“The truth is” and “These are the facts” are phrases that always precede a lie or a fallacy. ~ Niles Fettucine

Anybody can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy. ~Aristotle

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul. ~William Ernest Henley, Invictus

Men at some time are masters of their fates; the fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves. ~ William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, Act 1, Scene 2, performed by Cassius,

The most profound discoveries are not necessarily beyond the next star; they are within us. ~Captain Jonathan Archer, Terra Prime, performed by Scott Bakula

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Henry S. Haskins

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. ~ Yeshua of Nazareth, Sermon on the Mount, Matthew Act 6, Scene 34

No woman’s worth crawlin’ on the earth. ~Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio, Walk Like a Man, performed by The Four Seasons

Don’t try to understand ‘em; just rope and throw and brand ‘em. ~Ned Washington, Rawhide, performed by Frankie Laine

A little suffering is good for the soul. ~Captain. James T. Kirk, The Corbomite Maneuver, performed by William Shatner

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. ~Allen Saunders

I concluded my speech by telling them that I was done with politics for the present, and they might all go to hell, and I would go to Texas. ~Davy Crockett, after losing his seat in the U.S. House of Representatives in 1835

The pen is mightier than the sword. ~Edward Bulwer-Lytton

But no match for a gun. ~Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller, and Mike Love, Student Demonstration Time

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us. ~P. J. O’Rourke (A Celt)

Freedom ain’t Free. ~Classic American saying and idiom

No, Freedom isn’t free; in fact, it is very, very expensive. ~Niles Fettuccine

True friends always stab you in the front. ~Oscar Wilde

The past is never dead. It’s not even past. ~William Falkner Requiem for a Nun

Only two things are infinite; the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not too sure about the former. ~Albert Einstein

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. ~Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

Look what has happened with just one kiss, I never knew that I could be in love like this. ~Mike Hawker and Ivor Raymonde, I Only Want To Be With You, performed by Dusty Springfield (a Celt and humanity’s prettiest overly eye made up, gay, evening gowned, dusky voiced, bleached and teased blonde haired female performer).

There is always someone, for each of us they say, and you’ll be my someone, forever and a day. ~Tom Springfield (yup, Dusty’s brother, also a Celt), I’ll Never Find Another You, performed by the Seekers (Author’s note to males: Obtain a copy of the lyrics of this song and include the words from any verse – The 2^nd is my favorite – in a letter or text to a woman. Your next date with that woman will be very successful)

My love is warmer than the warmest sunshine; softer than a sigh; My love is deeper than the deepest ocean; wider than the sky. My love is brighter than the brightest star that shines every night above. And there is nothing in this world that can ever change my love. ~Tony Hatch, My Love, performed by Petula Clark (Another Author’s note to males: the lyrics of this song work almost as well)

Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Do not go gentle into that good night. ~Dylan Thomas, Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night, recited by Thornton Melon (nee Meloni, an Italian), during his oral exam before Dean Martin at Grand Lakes University, performed by Rodney Dangerfield.

Closing deals is so much trash, if at the end you get no cash. ~Robert J. Ringer, Winning through Intimidation

Allowing ex-husbands out of jail is so much trash, if at the end you get no cash. ~Motto of some ex-wives, including, unfortunately, the Author’s

Some say that nothing is impossible. That’s ridiculous, I do nothing every day! ~Alan R. Bianco

Never look backwards or you will fall down the stairs. ~Rudyard Kipling

The future ain’t what it used to be. ~Attributed to Lorenzo Pietro a/k/a Yogi Berra (an Italian)

The future is already here – it’s just not very evenly distributed. ~William Gibson (coiner of the term “cyberspace”)

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. ~Charles Schulz

Nothing can be more absurd than the practice that prevails in our country of men and women not following the same pursuits with all their strengths and with one mind, for thus, the state instead of being whole is reduced to half. ~ Plato

Money buys speed. How fast do you want to go? ~Auto enthusiast Bradley T Duckworth, when asked how fast racing cars would eventually travel

To infinity and beyond! ~Buzz Lightyear, responding to Mr. Duckworth, Toy Story, performed by Tim Allen

Mr. Duckworth wasn’t 100% correct. A NASA Crawler-Transporter costs 14 million dollars and can only go two miles an hour. It can, however, move 12 million pounds. ~Niles Fettucine

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. ~Winston Churchill

Always keep your ears open and your mouth shut. ~R. Shane Gonzalez

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes. ~ @debihope

Isn’t life strange. ~John Lodge, Isn’t Life Strange performed by the Moody Blues

What if Pizarro hadn’t discovered potatoes in Peru? ~ Profound philosophical and historical alliteration and question

Money can’t buy love, but it sure improves your bargaining position. ~Christopher Marlowe

How you handle life depends a lot on how you handle plan B, or if you have a plan B. ~Nelson DeMille, The General’s Daughter

When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands. ~ George Carlin

No one knows what it’s like . . . to be the sad man . . . behind blue eyes. ~Peter Townsend, Behind Blue Eyes, performed by The Who

Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue. ~Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, The Boxer, performed by Simon and Garfunkel

Wanna date? ~Whore on Seventh Avenue

No, but if you have any apricots, I’ll take them ~Steven Papamarcos (later PhD.)

Reality, what a concept! ~Robin Williams

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. ~ G. H. a/k/a Babe Ruth (an Italian)

(A conservative) is at odds with dictators who rule by terror, and equally with those gentler collectivists who ask our permission to play God with the human race. ~Sen. Barry Goldberg

Man is a political animal ~Aristotle

The most stringent protection of free speech would not protect a man falsely shouting fire in a (crowded) theater. ~Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., Schenck v. U.S. (1919)

Free speech is the right to shout ‘theatre’ in a crowded fire. ~ Abbie Hoffman

Yes, it is written. Good shall always destroy evil. ~ Sirah, The Omega Glory, performed by Irene Kelly

I’ve found that evil usually triumphs – unless good is very, very careful. ~Leonard McCoy, MD, The Omega Glory, performed by DeForest Kelly

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is. ~Benjamin Brewster

A pretty face can hide an evil mind. ~ P. F. Sloan and Steve Barri, Secret Agent Man, performed by Johnny Rivers

Football should limit itself to only one rule: Each down begins in an orderly manner. That’s it. ~ George Carlin

Dear God, please don’t let me fuck up. ~The Shepard’s Prayer, composed by astronaut (later Admiral) Alan B. Shepard, Jr., USN, while awaiting his launch into space on May 5, 1961

If you do not change direction, you will end up where you are heading. ~Lao Tzu

People say I look weary. But that’s just the company I keep. ~Charlie Dore, Pilot of the Airwaves, performed by Charlie Dore

Don’t you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy; she’ll beat you if she’s able. The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet. ~Glenn Frey and Don Henley, Desperado, performed by The Eagles

If you stop struggling, then you stop life. ~Huey Newton

My mom always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get. ~Forrest Gump

Life is not like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. ~Author Unknown

There is no surer sign of decay in a country than to see the rites of religion held in contempt ~ Niccolo Machiavelli (An Italian)

The meaning of life is contained in every single expression of life. It is present in the infinity of forms and phenomena that exist in all of creation. ~Michael Jackson

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you. ~Fred Allen

An unexamined life is not worth living. ~ Plato, Apology

Plato says that the unexamined life is not worth living. But what if the examined life turns out to be a clunker as well? ~Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons

The trouble with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money. ~ Lady Margaret Thatcher

A screen star pontificating on politics is about the equivalent of a high school boy describing the charms of Sophia Loren; he is just in over his head. ~Charlton Heston

After sex, a woman should turn into a pinochle table and three other guys. ~Kirk Douglas, The Ragman’s Son

When the moon is on the Seventh House, and Jupiter aligns with Mars; Peace will guide the planets, and love will steer the stars. ~ James Rado, Gerome Ragni and Galt MacDermot, Age of Aquarius performed by the Fifth Dimension, lead by Marilyn McCoo, humanity’s best female vocalist and second prettiest woman.

The Arts round off the rough edges of life. ~Niles Fettucine

They certainly give very strange names to diseases. ~Plato

A big shot is just a little shot . . . who kept on shooting. ~Christopher Morley

Most of the world’s work is done by people who don’t feel very well. ~Winston Churchill

There were 50,000 young Americans there, all shouting and cheering for me. You can’t imagine what it was like. ~Marilyn Monroe to her husband, after returning from a tour of U.S. Army bases

Yes I can. ~Husband Joe DiMaggio

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true. ~Winston Churchill

If you stop telling lies about us, we will stop telling the truth about you. ~Chauncey Depew

Mr. Spock, the women on your planet are logical. That’s the only planet in this galaxy that can make that claim. ~James T. Kirk, Elaan of Troyius, performed by William Shatner

Does your chewing gum lose its flavour in the bedpost overnight? ~Lonnie Donegan

Q: As a baseball player, do you prefer grass or AstroTurf? A: I don’t know, I never smoked AstroTurf. ~Various

The bigger a man’s gun the smaller his doodlewick. (Note: the Author packs a single shot, 12 caliber derringer) ~ Martha Jane Canary a/k/a Calamity Jane

The meaning of life is. . . . life. ~ Alan Alda

You’re only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash

There are three types of people in the world: Those who make it happen; those who watch it happen; and those who wonder what happened. ~Tommy Lasorda

When life throws you lemons, make orange juice. It will leave them wondering how the hell you did it. ~Author Unknown

It’s a groovy situation; a splendid combination. ~ Russell Lewis and Herman Davis, Groovy Situation, performed by Gene Chandler

The best things in life make you sweaty. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. ~L. P. Hartley, The Go-Between

(Life is) Not to feel exasperated or defeated or despondent because your days aren’t packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human—however imperfectly—and fully embrace the pursuit you’ve embarked on. ~Marcus Aurelius (Roman philosopher and emperor)

L’audace, l’audace, toujours l’audace. (Audacity, audacity, always audacity) ~Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill and General George S. Patton, Jr.

Taxes are the price we pay for (civilization). ~Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., Compañía General de Tabacos de Filipinas v. Collector of Internal Revenue (1927)

Personally, I’ve already bought enough civilization, thank you. ~Niles Fettuccine

If you remember the ’60s, you weren’t really there ~Charlie Fleischer

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three. ~Lawrence J. Peter

I remember the nights were cool; I can still see the water pool. And I remember a girl that I knew. . . ~Jeff Christie, Yellow River, performed by Christie

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. ~P. J. O’Rourke

Whoopie! Man, that may have been a small step for Neil, but that’s a long one for me. ~Charles (Pete) Conrad, the third man to walk on the Moon and NASA’a shortest astronaut, after taking his first step onto the lunar surface

When you walk through the storm keep your head up high; and don’t be afraid of the dark. ~Richard Rodgers, You’ll Never Walk Alone, performed by many

Love the life you live. Live the life you love. ~Bob Marley, performed by Bob Marley

Why is the Miss Universe contest always held on Earth? ~Rich Hall

I beg you; blow your nose a bit. Make your head lighter and your brain clearer. ~Martin Luther, humanity’s second smartest person

Before the Civil War, the United States were. After the Civil War, the United States was. ~Paraphrase of historian Shelby Foote, describing the vast change the Civil War wrought on the United States of America.

As the riders loped on by him he heard one call his name – ‘Hey Al’. If you want to save your soul from Hell a-riding on our range; then cowboy change your ways today or with us you will ride, trying to catch the Devil’s herd, across these endless skies ~Stanley Jones, Ghost Riders in the Sky, performed by Vaughn Monroe

Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice Doggie” until you can find a rock. ~ Will Rogers

When the legend becomes fact, print the legend. ~Maxwell Scott, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence, performed by Carlton Young

Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision ~Winston Churchill

If it doesn’t matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score? ~Vince Lombardi

Always drink upstream from the herd. ~Will Rogers

If you don’t do wild things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old. ~Author Unknown

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. ~Groucho Marx

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. ~Ogden Nash (1931)

Pot is not. ~Ogden Nash (1968)

I’m on a whiskey diet; I’ve lost three days already. ~Tommy Cooper

Shift that fat ass, Harry. But slowly, or you’ll swamp the damned boat. ~General George Washington, addressing General Henry Knox while crossing the Delaware River on Christmas night 1776. (Knox was the fattest General Officer in the Continental Army)

Tuesday, August 29^th; the day the running stopped. ~George Eckstein and Michael Zagor, The Fugitive, narrated by William Conrad

Space is big. ~Any Astrophysicist

Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space. ~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

I ain’t afraid to love a man. I ain’t afraid to shoot him either ~Annie Oakley

Deny it! ~Rommie L. Duckworth, on how to respond to all inquiries from law enforcement (Strangely, not an Italian)

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me! ~Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott (a Scot), performed by James Doohan

The Krell forgot one thing. Monsters, John, monsters from the id. ~Lt. “Doc” Ostrow, Forbidden Planet, performed by Warren Stevens

I used to be snow white, but I drifted. ~Mae West

The old man sure has changed . . . since yesterday. Or maybe it’s just that we’ve changed . . . since yesterday. ~Private John Steele after parachuting into Sainte-Mère-Église France on June 6, 1944, The Longest Day, performed by Red Buttons

Once you have found her, never let her go. ~ Oscar Hammerstein II and Richard Rodgers, Some Enchanted Evening, performed by Jay and The Americans, Enzio Pinza, Bob Dylan and others

This wallpaper is killing me; one of us has to go! ~The last words of Oscar Wilde

Whenever you find yourself in the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. ~Mark Twain

Always remember; you can marry more money in five minutes than you can make in an entire lifetime. Love will come later. (Unfortunately, spoken to the Author’s ex-wife) ~Alfred Carpentier

When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do? ~Baron John Maynard Keynes, C.B., F.B.A.

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography. ~Ambrose Bierce

When you are right and the entire rest of the world is wrong, it is time to reevaluate your position. ~Janet A. Bianco

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. ~Mark Twain

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~Ken Dodd

Capitalism is an evil economic system in which evil men with evil intentions use evil corporations to produce evil products that, somehow, greatly benefit everyone. ~ E. A. G. Robinson

Keep Christ in Xmas. ~Bumper sticker

Chopsticks are the reason the Chinese never invented custard. ~Spike Milligan

Tax the rich, feed the poor. ‘Til there are no rich no more? ~Alvin Lee, I’d Love To Change The World, performed by Ten Years After

With your arms around the future; and your back up against the past. ~Justin Hayward, The Voice, performed by the Moody Blues

Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like nobody’s watching. ~Satchel Paige

Well I’ll be damned. ~The last words of J(ohn) H(enry) (Doc) Holliday, (dentist, gambler, lawman and outlaw) on his deathbed after looking at his feet. Holliday always swore that he would die with his boots on. They were off.

Everyone’s life is bittersweet . . . it’s a door that opens wide . . . And no man can call himself complete . . . until he’s seen it from both sides. ~ Estelle Levitt and Don Thomas, This Door Swings Both Ways, performed by Herman’s Hermits

This door swings both ways; it’s marked ‘in’ and ‘out’. Some days you’ll want to cry and some days you will shout ~Ibid (a showy literary way of saying “Ditto”)

Tex Ritter’s gone and Disney’s dead and the screen is filled with sex. ~Don Reid and Harold Reid, Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott, performed by The Statler Brothers

Donald J. Trump elected President of the United States of America. ~Numerous news reports – November 9, 2016.

It’s the end of the world as we know it. . . Team by team, reporters Trumped, baffled. . . it’s the end of the world as we know it . . . . . . . . . . and I feel fine. ~John Michael Stipe, Michael E. Mills, Peter Lawrence Buck, and William Thomas Berry, It’s The End Of The World as We Know It, performed by R.E.M.

I feel fine. How about you? ~Yuri Gagarin during the launch of Vostok I, man’s first trek into outer space, when asked how he felt.

A lot’s happened to me since I was you. ~Admiral Kathryn Janeway, speaking to her younger self, Captain Katherine Janeway, via a wormhole in spacetime, Endgame Part II, performed by Kate Mulgrew

In the big inning. ~ Genesis 1:1, the first mention of baseball in human history

You’re not a kid anymore. ~Gary Klein and Henry Hoffman, Bobby’s Girl, performed by Marcie Blane

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. ~John Clark, Paroemiologia (1639), famously restated by Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard’s Almanac

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. ~ Animaniacs

The preservation of liberty depends on three boxes: The ballot box, the jury box, and the cartridge box. ~Frederick Douglass

Some use statistics like a drunk uses a lamppost – For support rather than illumination. ~A. E. Housman

Life is a series of constantly changing equations and throughout it all, everything affects everything else. ~Niles Fettuccine

I’m the daughter of a digger, who sought the mother lode; this girl became a woman, on a long and dusty road. I’m a child of the Depression; I saw the good times come. I’m a bushie, I’m a battler, I am Australian. ~ Bruce Woodley and Dobe Newton, I Am Australian, performed by the Seekers, lead vocal by Judith Durham

I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are some obituaries that I have read with great pleasure. ~Clarence Darrow

‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in the English language. ‘I do’ is the longest. ~ George Carlin

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em; Know when to walk away, and know when to run. ~Kenny Rogers, The Gambler, performed by Kenny Rogers

You see it’s getting late; Oh, please don’t hesitate; Put a little love in your heart. ~Jackie DeShannon, Randy Myers and Jimmy Holiday, Put a Little Love in Your Heart, performed by Jackie DeShannon,

Countries, whose names contain the words “democratic” or “people’s republic”, aren’t. ~Niles Fettuccine

If I were your wife I’d poison your tea! ~Lady Astor
And if I were your husband I’d drink it! ~Winston Churchill

Well shut them books and throw ’em away. And say goodbye to dull school days. Look alive and change your ways, it’s summertiiiiime… ~ Tom Jameson, Summertime, Summertime, performed by the Jamies

Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer; Those days of soda and pretzels and beer. Roll out those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer; You’ll wish that summer could always be here. ~Hans Carste and Charles Tobias, Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer, performed by, well, if you don’t know who sang this song, you’re a real dummy.

I believe I’ve passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage; I found that just surviving was a noble fight. I once believed in causes too; I had my pointless point of view, but life went on no matter who was wrong or right. ~Social commentator W. M. Joel, Angry Young Man, performed by singer/ songwriter Billy Joel

Let it be. ~John Lennon and Paul McCartney, Let it Be performed by The Beatles

What’s the meaning of life? Love! What’s the meaning of love? Life! ~Eddie Kendricks

Almost last, and certainly not least: It’s still the same old story; a fight for love and glory; a case of do or die. The world will always welcome lovers, as time . . . goes . . . by. . . . ~Sam, who played it again in a film that contained almost no romance but gave us the World’s Greatest Love Story. Herman Hupfeld, performed by Dooley Wilson

And finally . . . When compiling his great dictionary, the young Noah Webster traveled to the Himalayas, where he climbed to the cave of the world’s wisest man. “O, great sage,” he said, “tell me the meaning of life.” The sage sat Noah at his feet and, with great solemnity, commenced to unfold the meaning of life. When finished, he placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder and said, “Do you have any other questions, my son?” Noah flipped a page in his notebook, turned to the sage and asked, “You wouldn’t know the meaning of lift, would you? ~Robert Brault

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Although later known as Jesus of Nazareth (c. A.D. 4 – c. A.D. 35), his Hebrew name was הוֹשֻׁעַ, which is pronounced Yeshua. The name is composed of the following Hebrew letters: Yod (The “Y” sound, the letter J was not invented until the Middle Ages, and when it did show up, it was initially pronounced as a “Y”), Tzar (A Hebrew vowel that designates a short “E” sound), Shin (The “SH” sound, which morphed into the “Z” sound in Jesus that we pronounce today), Var (Another vowel signifying a long “U” sound), and Ayin (A short “A” sound followed by a guttural , similar to the sound between the two syllables of L’Chaim). To pronounce His name correctly, say Yeshua and then cough. The Hebrew leader who led the twelve tribes after Moses’ death was also called Yeshua. Today we call him Joshua.
Sophia Loren (an Italian), of course. After Italy, the countries that produce the most beautiful women in the world are (in descending order of beauty): Venezuela, The United States, Brazil and The Philippines
The ultimate Master of all trades and Jack of none, Leonardo Da Vinci (an Italian), of course. After Italy, the countries that produce the most intelligent people in the world are (in descending order of intellect): The United States, The United States, The United States, Singapore, Japan, and Australia.
Judith Durham, lead singer for the Seekers is humanity’s second best female vocalist. A very close runner-up to Marilyn McCoo.
Nat King Cole (humanity’s finest male vocalist), you idiot.