China Problem? The Three Minute Solution!

Any of our problems with the People’s Republic of China (which name, except for the word ‘China’, is a misnomer if I’ve ever heard one) can easily be solved with a three minute telephone call.  Here’s how it would sound from our side:

“Mr. President, the Prime Minister is on the line.”
“Hello Fumio, Slo-Joe here.  How are you and Yuko doing?”
“That’s good; June, er, Joan, er, Jill is also fine, thank you for asking.”
“Listen, Fumio­, the United States no longer has any objections to Japan developing or acquiring nuclear weapons. Or intercontinental ballistic missiles. So long, of course, as Japan reimburses Hunter for the $1,000,000,000 he will probably have to give back to the ChiComs. ” 
“No problem, what are friends for?”
“Of course, Hunter gets to keep your $1,000,000,000 bribe investment, even if he  doesn’t return anything to the Chinese.”

“Happy Holidays to you too Fumio, best to Yoko Ono.  Goodbye.”

Make that a two minute phone call.

Author’s Note: To build an atomic bomb, only three things are needed:
1. About 12 pounds of Uranium 235 or Plutonium 239;
2. Equipment to handle the aforementioned fissile materials; and,
3. Four or five smart nuclear physicists.
Japan has all three in spades!! They could produce a nuclear weapon in about three weeks!!

Another Author’s Note:  To build a ballistic missile, only four other things are needed:
1.A metal tube;
2. Some liquid hydrogen (or, in a pinch, kerosene);
3. Some liquid oxygen; and,
4. A match.  
In spades again!!  Give ’em two weeks!!

Note From The Boss: Please donate to MOL. We are down to our last bottle of Grand Marnier! Soon we will have to start drinking that Crème de menthe stuff.