Recently BLM (a/k/a [Some] Black Lives Matter) demanded that Augusta National, Inc. (dba Masters Golf Tournament) change the name of the Masters Golf Tournament because the tournament name includes the term “master”. In addition, many “minority” groups are calling for the abolition of the phrase “Master Bedroom” because it contains the term “master”.

We at The Meaning of Life ~ World’s Greatest Political Satire are joining the fray and are demanding that all Americans immediately begin using the archaic word onanism because the word currently used to describe onanistic activity also contains the term “master”.