XAAFUUN, SOMALIA (Pop. 13,000) February 22, 2020 Representative Ilhan Omar, the Somali born congressperson representing Minnesota’s 5th Congressional district has again been accused of marrying her own brother. Some said she did it to illegally sidestep U.S. immigration laws and get her Bro’ into the country, but I don’t think a “modest” Muslim woman would do that… would she? In any case, the crack Meaning of Life Forensic Investigative team, International Division, Inc. has just completed an in-depth investigation of Omar’s conjugal capers. Here is what we found out about Ilhan’s incidents:

  1. Ilhan married “husband” #1 in 2002 in a “religious”, but not legal, ceremony and had three children (beginning in 2004) with him.
  2. She married (strangely, in a Christian ceremony – unusual for an observant Muslim woman) husband #2 (who was a real Bro’), legally, in 2009, just in time to prepare for her run for office. I guess that legitimized #1’s children.  It is a good thing that “marriage” #1 wasn’t legal, because even female, “modest”, Muslim candidates would have bigamy counted against them in a congressional election. 
  3. She divorced husband #2 in 2017, right after she took office, which paved the way for her to legally “remarry” husband #1 (although this was her third marriage. I know, it’s confusing), who appears to be her true love (romantically, not as a brother), which she did in 2018.
  4. Even though she was married to husband #1, her true love, she had an affair with a Caucasian, married, infidel, campaign employee (Quite frankly, I didn’t know that “modest”, married, Muslim, women were permitted to have extra-marital affairs with married, Caucasian, infidels, but like most Americans, I don’t know much about Islam) and gave him a few hundred thousand dollars of her campaign funds because she is a caring person.
  5. Probably because of #4, above, she recently filed a petition for Divorce against husband #1.  Strangely, she signed her Divorce Petition in Burkina Faso (a small landlocked country in east Africa, just north of the Bight of Benin [a/k/a The Gulf of Guinea]).  I wonder how she found a Notary?

Ilhan, what the ‘ell?

We discovered another strange thing; Omar’s marriage information has been scrubbed from all of her (and other) websites.

On a positive note, Omar does have a cheerful, bubbly smile, especially when she is accusing Israelis (sometimes a/k/a Jews) of denying non-Jews their civil rights. Probably because Omar was right (“modest”, Muslim, women are never wrong), those rascally Israelis banned her from anti-Semitizing in propagandizing in visiting Israel.  What ever happened to Freedom of Speech!!!  

P.S. I wonder if Omar’s hair, if she has any, is as nice as her smile?